even youths. that's us. we grow weary.

it's so grey outside, rain is constantly falling, and then subsiding and then falling again, if i go outside the droplets race down the lenses of my glasses like they do on windows and so for now i'm staying inside. the fire's on, so it's warm. it's another Friday, i'm tired and weary.

isaiah 40:31

 Even the youths shall faint and be weary, and the young men shall utterly fall: But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint.

a list of songs:
you and me, lifehouse
flags, brooke fraser
please don't say you love me, gabrielle aplin
times, tenth avenue north
collide, howie day

a list of books:
there you'll find me, jenny b jones
glass girl, laura anderson kurk
mere christianity, cs lewis

a list of chapters:
galations 5
romans 8

"relationships don't thrive because the guilty are punished but because the innocent are merciful."

there are so many times in a day when i haven't loved. and i hate, hate, hate it. i hate not being able to be good. i hate not loving like people deserve to be loved.

i've found no fulfilment. i wrote these words the other day;

i want to be in awe
for my spirit to be alive in Yours
spent the past few weeks trying to be good
but i failed
i've searched for Your undeniable peace 
but apart from a dream
it's nowhere to be found
i thought i knew what i had to do
but i couldn't do it
fumbling around here
there's been no fulfilment

i put it in your hands
i put me in Your hands

Isaiah 50:10,
"for anyone out there who doesn't know where you're going, anyone groping in the dark, here's what: Trust in God. Lean on your God!"