I don't know if there's anyplace I can go to be with God. I wonder if I was somewhere else, doing something else, if that might change anything.

I'm reading and comes this: Let what you heard from the beginning abide in you. If what you heard from the beginning abides in you, then you too will abide in the Son and in the Father. And this is the promise that he made to us -- eternal life. 

I write these things to you about those who are trying to deceive you. But the anointing that you received from him abides in you, and you have no need that anyone should teach you. But as his anointing teaches you about everything, and is true, and is no lie -- just as it has taught you, abide in him. 

As if all our life is this road to Damascus and 'til the light comes and blinds us, there's no real way Home. How I can pretend to see but it takes holy, crazy grace like crashing light for me to actually know the Road. 

The way to Damascus is the only way we know, the way we go to distinguish and to protect and to project our name and our religion and any simple ambition.  

We walk the Damascus road because we fear death, and the only way to gain victory over it is to sustain some kind of wealth from the earth. The Damascus road preaches that to finish this life without gaining as much of the world as you can is a wasted life. 

I'm scared, because I think that I'm at the mercy of God here. I never understood what 'fearing God' meant, and now I'm realizing: I'd rather gain the whole world than keep my soul. 

I'm scared, because the only thing that's going to save me is one of those blinding lights that brings me right to my face at the foot of the bloodied wooden cross. And the only thing that's going to get me there is God himself. 

There's no way I can take myself to the cross, because I'm not willing to give up anything in order to get there. 
  
"Now as he went on his way," (emphasis mine) "he approached Damascus, and suddenly a light from heaven shone around him."  

A little later: "Brother Saul, the Lord Jesus who appeared to you on the road has sent me..."

Paul was walking his way down the road to Damascus and it was here that Jesus appeared to him. 

And then we're in Philippians and it's too crazy to comprehend: it's life on the Road, it's the way Home. 

It's my eager expectation and hope that now as always, with full courage, Christ will be honoured in my body, whether by life or by death. 

For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. 

If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labour for me. 

Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. 

My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. 

But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, 

so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again.  


The road to Damascus is no longer a road to sustenance. Paul doesn't have anything that he needs. Paul doesn't have anything that he's afraid of losing. This man is completely satisfied in Jesus.

Living no longer entails the gaining & sustaining of anything. Now, it means fruitful labour. 

And I remember what I was taught in the beginning, about abiding in Him, about what He taught me:  this is where fruit is borne.
:::

My brothers, rejoice in the Lord. 

We glory in Christ Jesus and put no confidence in the flesh.

Though I myself have reason for confidence in the flesh, whatever gain I had, I counted as loss for the sake of Christ. 

Indeed I count everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. 

For his sake I have suffered the loss of all things and count them as rubbish,

in order that I may gain Christ and be found in him, 

not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law,

but that which comes through faith in Christ,

the righteousness from God that depends on faith--

that I may know him and the power of his resurrection, 

and may share his sufferings,

becoming like him in his death,

that by any means possible I may attain the resurrection from the dead.
 
:::

I'll cry mercy all down this road. I'll be this leprous beggar, unworthy and unable. 

Wishing for this unveiling, 
to quit masquerading down this road, 

to be carried by this Cross like it's the Road itself.