let's begin to comprehend

People always say they, "Can't even begin to comprehend what Jesus did for us," or "Don't understand what it really means."

But you know what? I want to understand. I want to comprehend.

This is not just some little nail you use to hang a picture on the wall. The nails that were hammered into Jesus' palm were big. I look at my palm, and I wonder. How my best friend, Jesus, loved me. Even then -- even though He knew I'd mess up and pretend I don't know Him and disobey Him and ignore Him. Why didn't he himself off that cross? He lay there. Bearing the shame. He was there because of me.

He was there because of you.

I want to understand. I want to comprehend.
I don't know what I'm getting myself into. But I know that the end result is only good. Only godly. Only lovely. Only joyful and full of hope.

Because if we're suffering for Jesus, we shouldn't be ashamed. What was it Paul said? Something about being joyful about the fact that God had given him these opportunies to live for Him?

On the other hand, I do know what I'm getting myself into if I go with the world. Acceptance. Belonging. Popularity -- people will like me. Money. Basically, anything. Oh, and the end result? Um... how can there be a good end result, if you've already lived your good life?

But if we suffer for Christ, we have a reward.  And Eternal life to enjoy the reward.

dear Jesus,
i don't even know what I'm asking.
i don't even want to ask this.
but it's like i'm only half-living for you.
like i've gotten rid of the old, worldy me...
but i haven't entered the new one.
i'm scared. i don't want to leave what's certain, what i know -- i like my life.
but i can't have control.
i want You to show me.
tell me what to do.
iloveYou,
Jesus