re-turning to breath
Dying is always a returning to where we are.
I used to think I was destined for suffering, and that the life of God was evidence of this. My version of suffering was to see the worst in everything and to climb down each ladder rung until I was moaning in the pit.
I thought that suffering was to offer yourself to potential wounds, to be an open target in a shooting field. To let negative self-talk and berating beliefs and sinking feelings pull me into the dark hole.
Yet the call to come die has always been the call to surrender your wishes & longings to the presence of Christ. The whisper to return to Presence -- from all the faraway places of the past & the future, the absent and the unattainable.
"Simple put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can't be my disciple." Luke 14:33
We live absent lives, flung to and fro by distraction, wrung out of our skin.
Returning to presence is the sacrifice we never knew we were called to make. Is the struggle we never thought we'd have to attend.
Taking what is dearest to me -- what consumes my beliefs, my body, my being -- and returning Home, is the painful journey of the Father's younger son.
Delving with my mind into my heart, the feared cave of darkness, coming face to face with the gentle presence of God, at home & attentive within in the very place of my avoidance.
The constant inhale & exhale holding us as a reminder -- breath being the very name of divinity.
Returning our greatest suffering & our continual dying... somehow into the very resurrection of God-man alive.
I used to think I was destined for suffering, and that the life of God was evidence of this. My version of suffering was to see the worst in everything and to climb down each ladder rung until I was moaning in the pit.
I thought that suffering was to offer yourself to potential wounds, to be an open target in a shooting field. To let negative self-talk and berating beliefs and sinking feelings pull me into the dark hole.
Yet the call to come die has always been the call to surrender your wishes & longings to the presence of Christ. The whisper to return to Presence -- from all the faraway places of the past & the future, the absent and the unattainable.
"Simple put, if you're not willing to take what is dearest to you, whether plans or people, and kiss it goodbye, you can't be my disciple." Luke 14:33
We live absent lives, flung to and fro by distraction, wrung out of our skin.
Returning to presence is the sacrifice we never knew we were called to make. Is the struggle we never thought we'd have to attend.
Taking what is dearest to me -- what consumes my beliefs, my body, my being -- and returning Home, is the painful journey of the Father's younger son.
Delving with my mind into my heart, the feared cave of darkness, coming face to face with the gentle presence of God, at home & attentive within in the very place of my avoidance.
The constant inhale & exhale holding us as a reminder -- breath being the very name of divinity.
Returning our greatest suffering & our continual dying... somehow into the very resurrection of God-man alive.
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