quick dive & back to the sand

I don't dive deep into murky waters so often anymore, but I drank a bad espresso & it's calling me downward, & I'm going to follow it & see where this wandering takes me, a few rungs down the ladder into who knows where... maybe I can stay awake as I go under, maybe I can hold on to reality as I swim underneath -- maybe I can stay standing on something firm even as I explore beneath the tides...

Pulling these strands from everywhere:

Where is God apart from in my head & every scrawled opinion
How can a man die on a cross & that be a consumption of sin?
Tell me what sin is
Tell me how poetry runs the world without everyone drowning
Tell me the lyrics to all the forgotten songs that never made the top hundred

After eighteen months of sitting silence
inhaling
Dare i speak to Divinity

What is a Messiah and did everyone wait for one

If I can let go of needing to find and secure my own immortality
will i discover eternity?

Why does caffeine steal my sanity?
Why is anxiety literally circling my veins?
I don't know if I can stay here, under the water.
I need to come up for air now.

See you on the surface